Russia is Different

I know Matt has written a couple of blogs on how different Russia is and how he was a bit freaked out when he was here. Well, I think it's very different, but believe it or not I am not having a cultural shock. I never expected Russia to be super cool. I never thought Russia was going to be similar to the US in the near 30 years. The fact that I did not have high expectations, in fact the fact that I had low expectations of Russia actually help me I think. I am surprised at times that the malls are much nicer than I remember them, the streets are cleaner, the subway is very developed and again cleaner. Not that I am in love with Russia, but it's not all that horrible. Could I live here forever? If I had unlimited resources, I believe I could. Ok, if I had unlimited resources and my hubby by my side. I do miss my house, my sister's apartment is NOT home. However, I am looking forward to actualyl going HOME, to the house where my parents live. Even though I have seen my parents, we met up at the Black Sea and not my childhood home. I want to see that cozy little house, with only 3 tiny rooms and the kitchen that always smells of goodies and yummy food :) I am stuck in 2 wolds. Both I love so dearly. In both I have close family and friends, and I love both of the countries that I could call home. Even though Russia is far behind the US, I can't say that I love US more. Nope. I am torn in my feelings towards Russia and US. It's just like when parents are asked which kid they like more, they can never seem to answer. In some aspects I love US more than anything, in others Russia is more dear to me. I feel at home more in Russia than anywhere else, nothing is fake here. People in the US often seem fake to me, their feelings and attitude (not the people I know, but just a society in general). Yet, I definitely miss US for many conviniences that Russia lacks, and so many opportunities that Russia is far from providing to their people. I miss smiles on passer-by's faces, even though they might not be sincere, it's a pleasant sight. I think I am confused right now. Or maybe it's just a jet leg talking. I definitely miss all the kids and families I grew to love. I feel disconnected from them. I want to visit them and give them a hug and ask how they are doing. I guess I will have to wait a couple of years before I can see them, but they will all be so different, so grown up. I am missing out in one way, yet catching up in others (my family, my folks, my sister). Hmm... Like I said: CONFUSED