Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Dead tired

Yesterday I experienced a new feeling...being dead tired. I was so exhausted from work and lack of sleep that by the time I got home I literally just wanted to lay down and die.

Things that contributed to my exhaustion yesterday:
Sleep: Lack of sleep was unexpected. I went to bed at 12:00 am thinking that since it was so late I would have no issues falling asleep and staying asleep till 6:30 when I get up to go to work. Well, falling asleep was without any issues, but at 2:00 am I woke up because I was getting eaten alive by mosquitos in the room. After that I woke up every hour because of mosquitos and because the bites were itching. At 5:00 am I finally fell sound asleep just to be awaken at 6:30 by my alarm clock.

Subway: I usually close my eyes and drift away while in subway, but not yesterday, I decided that it's time for me to finish the novel that I have started, and even though I am rather far away from being done with it, at least I am getting closer.

Work: yesterday was just chaos. I had so many things that had to get done urgently, that I had to put everything I was planning on doing aside and do what was needed for upper management first. It was draining, because it required a lot of tidious work that had to be done quickly yet accurately and because it had to be done in a very short time period. Anyway, lots of things to do, plus very tight deadlines made my day quite a bit stressful and tired me out.

So, all together yesterday when I got home at 7:30 pm I was so tired that I sat on the couch and just could not physically get up for awhile. After washing dishes, I finally decided that my day ought to be over and went to bed around 10:30 pm.

I guess I should say that I haven't experienced this exhaustion for the first time, it's just that the last time has been awhile ago, and I guess I forgot how it feels. The last time I felt that tired was when I was going to school full-time, had 2 full-time jobs (1 was part-time, but the other was was full-time with overtime, so really i consider it 2 full-time jobs) and on top of that I was dating Matt. That is the last time I remember myself being so physically exhausted. Back then I used to live in the state I was in yesterday. I would go day after day being so tired and running on only 4 hours of sleep, 6 hours was a luxury for me back then. But it's been about a year and a half since the last time I felt this tired and now I can't imagine that I lived in that state for years. I don't know how I survived back then, because yesterday after just one day of extremely little sleep and a lot of work, I just wanted to come home and die so nobody would touch me and I would sleep forever :)

Today I am a bit more rested and when I get home I have laundry to put away, and maybe I will watch a movie, but I am still planning on going to bed early, because this whole week my work has been crazy busy and I need some rest.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Whas is the point?

I sometimes wonder what is the point of all of this. I mean, I come to work, have a gazillion of things to do and you know what? When I leave at 6 pm every day and sometimes later I have another gazillion things to accomplish. My work is never done. And sometimes I feel like, what is the point of all this, I can't handle it all anyway and does anybody really care what the hell we are all doing here?

Anyway, lots of work, it's been draining in the last couple of weeks. My moods are rather unpredictable lately. I can go from extremely happy to unbelievably aggitated.

Oi, life can be challenging at times....

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Pros and Cons....

....of Matt's job
I know, I am not Matt, but I have some pros and cons to his job and I am a bit frustrated today and was yesterday so I have full right to write out pros and cons to his job, because honestly I do need to sit down and think about all the pros in order to get over yesterday's disappointment.
So, let's start with cons because I want to finish this on a good note, so let's start with things that annoy me.
Cons:
1. He travels a ton...leaving only weekends to dedicate his attention to me and even then sometimes he checks or does some work
2. I hate his computer, the guy seems to be married to it at some points. I mean, why is it so hard to put that stupid thing down when I want some attention. Work computer is almost never turned off, he does not always spend time on it, but it's almost in the eyesight and it's annoying at times.
3. Meetings...he always seems to be in meetings when I need to talk to him, nothing important about, but just to talk when I am frustrated that there are so many idiots in the world. Usually, it's when I really want to talk to him to make myself feel better he is in stupid meetings and can't answer the stupid phone.
4. Vacation...needs to be planned 6 months ahead of time. Oh, and this is the main reason why I am so frustrated. Matt just got his visa to come to Russia and he was going to come and visit me in 2 weeks and stay for a whole week. I was so excited that I planned a whole trip to St. Petersburg, took into the account all the working hours of all the sights we wanted to visit, all the costs, checked airline tickets availability, even planned to surprise Matt and buy tickets to Russian ballet or opera in St. Petersburg, just to find out that he could not take that week off after all anyway. Now, we are thinking of him coming to visit me for a week in August, but that too can get cancelled the last minute. Mind you, I want to go to Spain and Portugal, but the project has many milestones and deadlines and really the team can't let Matt go for vacation until after November. I mean, what kind of bull-shit is that? I want to go on vacation with my husband for just one freaking week before the end of stupid November.

Pros:
1. His travels...yeah, I know it's in cons too, but because of his travels we are able to go places using his NWA miles or Marriott points, thus avoiding airplane tickets and hotel costs.
2. His travels...I am not crazy, this is a whole different point all together about his travels. It keeps him away from me for most of the time, so when we do see each other it's always a treat. It's nice to know that you don't have time to get tired with each other, it always feels like we are still in dating moods :)
3. International role...his work allowed him to go to UK and Germany for work, and because of my situation it's been a blessing for him to work in Europe, because we definitely see more of each other and it hasn't put much strain on our relationship (even though, I don't mind not seeing Matt every day, the idea of not seeing him for over a month used to upset me, because I was afraid we would drift apart).
4. Good pay, good opportunity. Matt seems to like the job itself and the fact that he gets to work with different clients. Plus, he gets paid pretty well, so I can't complain.
5. Parties...they have great parties, from Christmas dress-up parties to just frequent summer picnics, they have great people to talk to and you don't have to work at the company to feel welcomed at the event by everybody there.
6. Keeps Matt happy...most of the time.

So, I guess the pros outnumber cons, but still sometimes I get really angry at his work and wish that he would have gone into a different line of work. But those moments do pass and most of the time I like the fact that he has his current job. But yesterday I was pretty darn angry at the stupid company. I have my right to be angry at them for awhile, if you ask me.

Monday, June 16, 2008

He got it :)

This reallys hould be my husband's blog, but since he is a bit slow on writing them and I am a bit excited with the news, I thought that I would let everybody know that Matt got his Russian business visa for a whole year with multiple entries :) That is pretty exciting news, if you ask me :)

So, this time around we are going to make a trip to St. Petersburg. Matt has never been there and it's been about 11 years since my last visit. We are thinking it's about time to visit that city :) My aunt is living there (ok, I guess in English terms she is my second cousin, but in Russia -- she is my aunt), so we will be staying at her apartment (thus saving us some points). I am not sure exactly where I will take Matt, but I can assure you that we will have a busy trip and will visit many places, because it is not like Matt to just take it easy. And St. Petersburg is such a great city with so many sights that I am positive that 4-5 days there won't be enough.

I better get busy looking at the airline tickets from Moscow to St. Petersburg and try to organize the travels in St. Petersburg for my hubby and me to enjoy :)

Papa John's

I did not do much during my vacation. But one day I thought that I needed fresh air :) but was too lazy to actually go out. So, I thought that I would go out on a balcony and get some fresh air :) I went out on our balcony and stood there for quite a while watching people walking to and from places and stuff, and then I notice a russian car driving by with huge "Papa John's" signs all over it :)

It's a rather weird sign to have all over your car just for nothing, so I figured it must have been one of those cars out for delivery. So, I went back inside and on the internet to find out if there is Papa John's in Moscow. Sure enough, there is.

Actually, there are like 4 papa John's in Moscow right now and there are 2 or 3 of them that are still building. There is one within a long walking distance from our house. So, on Sunday my sister, her best friend and his fiancee and I decided to take a long walk and make a trip to Papa John's because I have been craving American pizza for quite awhile.

After getting lost a little bit, actualy just taking a long detour :) we found the place. We were a bit disappointed by the fact that the place was very small, it was definitely designed for delivery or take-out. After we ordered 3 pizzas, cheese bread and some drinks we waited for 20 minutes, got our pizza and decided to stay in that little uncomfortable place to have dinner.

It was so good to have a real pizza, it tasted identical to American Papa John's, which was great. I just think that from now we will have to order it and have it delivered rather than walk there and eat it :) But overall, I am satisfied with the experience, and Matt won't have to go to Pizza Hut with me every time I am in England :) I still have some leftovers that I am going to finish off today :) Yummm!

Friday, June 13, 2008

Death.....

.......scares me. Nobody is dying, i don't know anybody who has died recently who was close or related to me. But for some reason in the past month or so I have been thinking about death quite a bit. I don't mean like suicide or anything, just death as a fact, as part of life. Maybe it's the movies that I watch, I have recently watched "PS I love you" and it's not that great of a movie, but the idea of losing a husband sure gets to me. And now I am reading a book where one person's friend dies in a train accident. Again, it's an easy-going book, but it had a poem in it, "Remember" by Christina Rossetti and I just broke down in tears. The poem is beautiful, but so sad.

I often think what my life will be like after I lose somebody I love, what would I do, how would I proceed. Would I be crying all the time and hating the world or will I just get busy and smile at all my happy memories with that person. Anyway, even though I realize that death is a natural thing and unavoidable, I am scared of it as never before. But not really for me, I am scared that I will lose somebody whom I love. I wonder if everybody thinks about that, or am I just plain weird for having such thoughts. I must admit that it causes me to pray much more than I would have otherwise for all those people in my life that make it so much better.

Anyway, gotta share the poem that I found painfully beautiful, i can't imagine forgetting and smiling, but I guess if I have passed away I would want my friends and family to forget and smile rather than remember and be sad....

Remember

Remember Me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Movies

I am addicted to them. No, really. If I see a movie and I like it, I can rewatch it unlimited number of times. It's no joke, ask Matt :) I usually watch either chick flicks or action, sometimes I find sci-fi movies that I like (The Island and I-Robot), but usually it's just romance/drama/comedy and actions that I stick to. Anyway, Matt always laughs at me when he calls me and finds out that I am watching "Laws of Attraction" AGAIN. I know, it's an old movie, but it's so cute. My sister, Kara, can't understand just why I watch "Live Free or Die Hard" over and over again, it has the same ending every time :)

Well, I don't know why I watch the movies over and over again, I just enjoy them and if there is nothing good on TV, which is most of the time, then I turn to movies. I can't quite afford going out and buying new movies once i have seen the ones I have at home, renting is not practiced in Russia, so I have only one choice - rewatch the movies that i have seen before. (Ok, I have to admit that i have rewatched movies in the states too, even though renting was available, but it did not practice it as often as I do in Russia).

My favorite way to spend an evening after work is on the couch with a glass of wine while watching a movie that I have seen before (i know what to expect, i know i will like it). If only I could do that at home in Minneapolis with my husband by my side then my world would be perfect!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

3:03 am

That what time it is right now in Moscow. This is the latest I have been up in a long time. This is what I love about not going to work. I get to stay up. I like staying up. Some people are morning people, some are not. I belong to the group that is not :) I must admit I don't do anything productive :) just watch movies and drink wine, but it's so enjoyable. I think I could do it every day :) I haven't been wasting all my day sleeping either, I have been getting up by 12pm every day (those people who know me will agree that it's pretty good, considering I don't have to be anywhere or get up for any reason by a specific time :). I love vacation. Well, I like not having to get up in the morning and not having to go to work.

You know, I was talking to Matt tonight and we were talking about whether I like working or not. We came to a conclusion that I do like working, it just that I don't like having to work every day :) When I was in MN, I didn't enjoy my job as much as I do now, because it was too easy and always the same. But I liked the fact that as long as my work was done I could go home ;) My job in Russia is more challenging and more fun, but I have to be there from 9 till 6 and I spend 3 hours on commute every day, thus making me not want to go to work some days.

Anyway, this week I am not thinking about work. I know I will have literally hundreds of emails, and I know I will have to work extra hard for the next month trying to catch up for the week off, but I don't care, because this week I get to stay up as late as I want to and just relax during the day. I still haven't picked up my book which is surprising, I usually read when I get some free time. But during this week I have been just watching lots of movies and resting :) Nice.....

Ok, I probably should get ready for bed. Tomorrow I have to call and find out if my passport is in. I dread that call, but I have to make it. I am tired of this whole ordeal, but I guess I can put some effort into one phone call :) Everybody, good night.

My friends and children

I have some old friends in Russia, those that I went to school with and those that I got to know outside of school. And they all have children. I am not talking about all my classmates, some of them are not even married yet, but those kids that I actually was pretty good friends with, well, they all have kids. Granted, some of them are no longer married, which is sad. I had one friend who I went to college in Russia together with, and she was the only one besides me who did not have kids. On May 18 she gave birth to a baby girl, so I am the last one........

Most people in Russia (I am not talking about Moscow or St. Petersburg, they are countries of their own within Russia) have kids by the time they are 25. I would not be surprised to learn that some of my parents friends think that I can't have children or something. I mean, come on, I have been married for over a year and I still don't have a kid. Keep in mind, that about half of the people who do get married in my hometown do so because they are expecting a child.

Anyway, it's a bit weird to think that my friends are no longer free and can't go out with me whenever they want. BTW, I really want a kid, but then I think of the fact that I won't be able to travel and drink whenever I want, and I sometimes wonder if I do want kids, but that usually lasts for only a couple of hours :), a day at the most. But what is really weird is that I don't think I am that old and don't feel like I should have had a kid 5 years ago, but others seem to wonder why is it that I am 25 and still don't have a child, especially since I am married. What can I say? I guess I am more American at this point than Russian. Spent most of my teenage years in the states and I think I grew accustomed to the fact that you just don't have kids when you are 18. My husband is 30 and still has no kids :) and I don't think that is all that weird. Although, I am putting pressure on him, but that is not because of his age, it's because I want a kid. But then can you blame me? Every friend of mine in Russia has one, what can I say.....peer pressure :)

Monday, June 9, 2008

Update on my parents

My parents are still in Spain. I have been talking to them every night. I must say that I thought that they would be at the hotel every night by 8 pm, but Spain must have some influence on them, because I haven't called them before 10 pm. Mind you, they usually are in bed by 9 pm at home, so they must really be partying it up :)

Anyway, I talked to them today and I guess today was the first time they ever swam in the Mediterranean sea :) My parents both loved it, but since my mom does not swim and is basically afraid of water, she could appreciate it as much as my dad did, since he was born and raised on the Black Sea. My folks really liked the sea, and I guess they really like the area. Dad said that he wants to move there (keep in mind that when I first came up with idea of going to Spain on a vacation for them, he said that he does not want to go and wants to go to the Black Sea instead).

My dad spends every summer at the Black Sea, he usually goes there at the end of May, or in the first week of June at the latest, but this year we planned a trip for them to Spain in the second and third week of June, so he was pretty upset about that and made it clear to us that he did not want to go. But since the tickets were purchased and the hotel was booked, he had no way out.

My folks saw many yachts today and I guess tomorrow they were planning on visiting the villas of Spain and some other attractions. I am very glad that they are enjoying their time in Spain, and I hope they will bring back many pictures. I wish I was there with them, but I am glad that they are having fun without me :)

Matt is learning

Matt knows a lot, he really does, more than I ever did. He knows a lot about history, almost everything about politics, basically he knows many academic things. He also knows how to make me happy, how to make me angry, how to calm me down and how to start a fight. He knows when to be quiet and when I need some words of encouragement. He knows that I am not very patient unless I am dealing with children. Yet, there is one thing that Matt hasn't mastered yet, but not for long, because he finally decided to buy Rosetta Stone for Russian :)

He tried learning a little bit from me, but I am not that great of a teacher I guess. Whenever he said something wrong, I laughed. Not because he couldn't get it right, or anything, but his accent is so cute, and it just so funny when he says something in Russian with an American accent. Anyway, learning from me some Russian did not last. Eventually, he gave up asking me words, and just stopped at being able to say in Russian "My beautiful wife", "Airhead" (taught by my dad and frequently used when addressing me), "Truck" (a rather limited vocabulary, don't you think)

He has a long way to go before he knows how to speak Russian or being able to understand what people around him are saying (the last one being the main reason why Matt finally made that step and purchased the program). It does not surprise me though that my husband could not go on any longer without knowing what is going on around him when he is in Russia. He always says that I am nosy and too curious, but really he is no better.

So, it will be interesting to see what progress he makes, but I have no doubts that in about 6 months he will be able to converse with my relatives, and might be able to be a part of our conversations without me translating for him all the time. It amazes me though that even though he knows a lot, he still has desire to learn new things in life. I love you, Matt!!! You rock.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Spain

I was supposed to be in Spain this weekend. About 4 months ago I decided that our family hasn't taken any family vacations in the last 10 years or so and I decided that it was about time for my sister, my parents and me to go on a vacation together. Since my parents haven't been to Europe, I thought that to go to the Mediterranean sea would be wonderful. After considering Greece and France, I finally settled on Spain, Palma de Mallorca to be more specific :) So, my sister and I booked tickets for us and our parents, Matt booked a hotel room for us, and I reserved a car. The next step was for all of us to get a visa. Long story short, my parents and my sister got their visas, but I was not able to get it since I am without a foreign passport right now, meaning that I can't leave Russia.

So, after some rearranging, my ticket to Spain was cancelled, the hotel reservation was made under my sister's name and the car was reserved under my dad's name. This morning (4:50 am) my parents and sister left for Spain. The made it safely there. I am not sure if they got to the hotel yet or had any difficulties with getting the rental, but I hope that everything will go smoothly for them. I took vacation at work, since I thought that I would be going to Spain, but even though I could not make it to Spain, I still kept my vacation. While my family is on vacation I have a few things to do: replant flowers for my sister, buy a vacuum cleaner (and clean with it :)), get some soaps and stuff for my dad that he asked me to, and organize some stuff in the bathroom, oh and I have about 6 loads of laundry to take care of :) I don't think I will be bored while my family is gone.

My sister's fiance and his mom are meeting my parents and my sister in Spain and will spend a few days together, so that will be nice :) I just pray that everything will go smoothly for my family in Spain and they will enjoy their vacation and take many pictures. If my parents will enjoy their time in Spain and my sister does not go crazy with entertaining my parents then this trip will be a great success, even though I did not make it. Oh, while they are in Spain, I volunteered to be constantly on call in case something comes up that they will need my assistance, like solving issues with car, hotel, etc, etc

Special thanks to my beloved husband for donating some 120,000 Marriott points to book a hotel room for my family for a week in Spain!!! Matt, you are the best of the best, and never fail to take care of me and my family!!!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

My husband....

....oh, he is just simply wonderful. Did you know where he took me for our first year anniversary? PARIS...the city of love and romance. I must say that I agree to that statement. The love was just in the air in Paris :) We got to see many beautiful places in Paris: Jardins de Luxembourg, Tour Eiffel, Champs Elysees, Arc de Triumph, Obelisque, Cathedral of Sacred Heart, Notre Dame, Moulin Rouge, took a river on Siene, spent a day at Versailles and visited its gardens.

The whole visit was just amazing, I loved Paris, and I enjoyed being there with my beloved husband :) Baby, good choice on the place to celebrate our first year anniversary. I must say that the past year of our married life has been great, yet not without challenges (long distance relationships, do I have to say more?). Matt has put up with quite a few of my demands over the past year and some emotional break-downs, and he handled all the situations very impressively. If I didn't know any better, I would say he had some practice and/or training on how to be a great husband, but I think it just comes natural to him :)

In the last year he has traveled to Russia to see me, and I have traveled to UK, Germany and France to spend sometime together with him. We are as happy as could be!!! Overall, our first year of marriage has been wonderful, although it would be nicer to be closer together.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Lazy Bones

I am not sure whether I can call myself Lazy Bones, but I sure feel like being lazy all the time. Maybe it has somethind to do with the fact that I am always tired. Matt keeps telling me to go see a doctor and figure out why I am tired so much, but since I dedicate about 13 hours each day to either working, or getting ready for work or getting there, it's rather hard for me to find any spare time to go see a doctor. I usually sleep at least 12 hours on the weekends, but during the week I just feel exhausted most of the time.

Although, sometime I don't really do much during the week, there are other weeks like this week when I have been pretty active. Well, by active I mean I got accomplished a few things. Well, besides cleaning up a little, washing dishes with no hot water and taking care of the garbage that nobody seems to be taking out but me, I have also decided that we are going to have hot water while the rest of the region where we live in Moscow sits with no hot city water. I purchased a water heater, and then arranged for the plumber to come and install it, as a result Kara took a warm shower yesterday and I had a warm shower this morning. Next on my list is to get a vacuum cleaner, since we don't have one, although we do have hardwood floors, but still it would be easier to use a vacuum cleaner than a broom. And IF the weather ever gets warm in Moscow (it's currently 56F here and rains almost every day) then I will have to get a fan for the apartment, since there is no air conditioning :) I still have to do a few loads of laundry, probably will start that chore tonight, and oh, i watered my sister's flowers too.

So, really, considering that I have only 11 hours in a day to sleep and do anything else in addition to work, I think I am doing pretty good getting all these things accomplished. But I do feel like being lazy bones, so maybe next week when my entire family but me will be in Spain on a family vacation (a different blog to come) I will be able to relax and do nothing but maybe read and eat and listen to the music all day long :)