I am crazy about kids. I have always wanted them, and in the last year or so I have wanted to have my own more than anything else. But, now that I am in Russia, my views have changed a little. I still adore kids, and still look at all the kids I pass by, but I no longer want to have my own right away. I still want to have a big family, but I don't want to start it right now. I think I am happy with Matt on our own and I would like to enjoy that.
I don't know why I have started thinking like that, maybe because my sister is telling me that I am crazy to want to have kids while I am in Russia or even be pregnant when I am here. Maybe it has something to do with my job, I have a higher position here than I did in the US, and I am loving the idea of me traveling a little and going up in the company. Maybe it's because I am closer to my immidiate family (parents and sister) so I don't have as strong of a desire to start my own family with kids.
My in-laws will be happy to hear that I am moving further and further away from the idea of having a kid in Russia. Matt will be a bit relieved as well, I never used to leave him alone about having a kid while he wanted to wait awhile. The only people who will not like my idea is my folks. And honestly, they are the only reason why I am trying to consider to have a kid in Russia. I don't think it will happen, but like I told Matt many times before, I would never forgive myself if my kids wouldn't get to know my parents (they are going to be the best grandparents on earth; I might be biased, but it is true).
Most of people who know me really well will be surprised to read this blog. I must confess I was surprised to have these thoughts in my mind as well. However, I want to enjoy my kids and I want to be successful professionally first, especially now that I have some great opportunities in front of me and am gaining a priceless experience. Maybe I am too shallow, but I think it would be irresponsible for me to deny having these thoughts. It's better I recognize I have these thoughts. I want to make sure I have the kids at the right time of my life, when I want them more than anything else in the world.
1 comment:
wow ) i guess i am a bad influence )))))
anyway, here is what i think: it's all about moscow. this city affects people in such a way that they would never think of. i'm telling you. this city has changed me a lot. it'll happen to you too ) but don't be affraid. moscow reveals good sides in strong personalities and bad side in cowards. since you belong to the first group you'll become even more cool )))) love you!!!! )))
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